Weddings are one of the most memorable and important days in a person’s life that bring joy and happiness. The bride and groom are the center of attention on this day and are showered with love and gifts. For some couples, the desired “gift” that they want is money that can help relieve them of financial hardship, give them opportunities to improve their lives, and help pay for the wedding itself. This poses a dilemma for some wondering how to ask for money for a wedding without seeming rude. When asking for help paying for a wedding, your parents are going to be your most helpful resource to make your day as special as possible. Understandably, asking for money for a wedding from your parents can be intimidating and this is why it is important to say the right things when doing so.
How to ask
When you initially reach out to your mother or father, it is important to be detailed and ask exactly what you want from them. Before reaching out, you should know the dollar amount of what you are asking them to give to you. Budget how much money you and your spouse can allocate to your wedding so that you then know how much is left to ask for. Research the cost of things like the venue, the band, catering, and any other amenities you wish to have for your big day. You may be asking them to help cover the whole wedding or you may be asking them to cover the whole cost of something like the band or dining expenses. Asking for money for a wedding from your parents should be well thought out and detailed. For example, you may ask your father “Is there any way you could help cover the cost of our wedding band? It will be X amount of dollars.” This is how to ask for money for a wedding without just blindly asking for a random dollar amount. People are more receptive to giving if they know how much they are being asked to give as well as what the money is going towards.
When and Where to Ask
Another thing to take into consideration when asking for help paying for a wedding is to ask in an appropriate place at an appropriate time. Asking for money for a wedding is a big favor, so it is important not to blindside your parents. Before you get into the financial details of “what for” and “how much,” give them a heads-up text or a phone call letting them know you’d like to meet and discuss getting help from them. Put the ball in their court by allowing them to choose when and where you meet to discuss these plans. This shows a sense of respect and will allow them to feel comfortable having this conversation at their discretion. This will also help your parents go into the conversation more open-minded and receptive to what you and your spouse are asking. Planning the discussion out also gives you time to iron out the details of how much money you are asking for and where the money will be allocated.
Talk to Both Sets of Parents
If your situation allows it, you should talk to both your parents as well as your spouse’s parents. When asking for help paying for a wedding, reach out to both sets of parents separately. Every family has different financial backgrounds and can afford to offer different amounts. Do not pressure either set of parents to match or exceed the other’s financial offerings. Instead, let them know that anything they are willing to offer is appreciated and will be a huge help to you and your spouse. By talking to each set of parents separately, you reserve the leisure of not making anyone feel pressured by knowing what the other set of parents has offered to gift. You also have to option to ask each set to help pay for different wedding amenities that may be more suited to their respective financial backgrounds.
Conclusion
It is important to remember that this is your and your spouse’s special day. You reserve the right to deny any financial help from your parents if you feel they are making unfair or absurd demands with the money they are gifting you. It is still important to remain gracious throughout the whole process and be thankful to not only your parents but anyone who provides any help at all to your wedding. The chances are high that no matter how the conversation goes with your parents, you will still have an unforgettable wedding day!
